6 Tips To Make The Holidays A Little Less Stressful

Hallmark Christmas movies are wonderful, but they can set us up for some totally unrealistic expectations. They provide a vision for the holidays that includes wonderful family moments, perfectly set tables with delicious, homemade food, and possibly a few romantic moments. While that makes for great television, expecting to have it all is a recipe for disaster in real life (IRL).  

Most of us don’t have a staff of assistants to ensure everything is perfect. We are juggling jobs, family and other commitments, health issues, and financial problems just to name a few. So how does the average person have the Hallmark Christmas and stay sane?  

First, and this is very important, you throw out the idea of a perfect Hallmark Christmas. It’s not real. Then you forget about perfection. Yes, we’d all like to have a perfectly clean and tidy house, with clean and tidy children. We’d like to have wonderful dinners on the table every evening, time to read stories, play games, watch a movie or two, volunteer, write lovely Christmas cards for loved ones far away, shop for the perfect Christmas gifts, bake homemade goodies and deliver them to our elderly neighbors, and maybe knit a blanket for the hospital NICU. But is that realistic? I’d hazard a guess for most of us that is a pie in the sky list.  

Here are a few tips to try and get you through the holidays without going crazy, having a melt down, or drinking all the cooking sherry, but still checking off some of those items on THE LIST. 

Tip 1 

Set Your Priorities 

While many of us would like to have it all, that really is a recipe for a stressed out Christmas. Remember Christmas With the Kranks? Better to decide early on what truly matters to you. And FYI, if skipping all the craziness and escaping to a sunny southern destination is your idea of holiday bliss, by all means, do that. But if that’s not going to happen, then read on. What those priorities will look like will be different for everyone. Is it family time? Do you want time to watch movies, play board games, do activities with the kids or grandkids? Is volunteer work important to you? Are you a baker at heart and want to share lovely goodies with everyone? Is it important to you to give special and personal gifts? Do you want to have a party at your house?  

Figure out what your non-negotiables are and start there. Prioritize those things when you are dividing up your time.  

I want you to get a small box. Put it beside your calendar, planner, list, whatever you’re using to schedule everything. Then put all your guilt for whatever it is you feel you “should” do, but simply don’t have time for, in that box and hide it at the bottom of your closet. Or better yet, write down all the things you’d like to do, feel guilty not doing, but simply can’t do, and then have a ceremonial burning to let it go, followed by a lovely holiday beverage. 

Tip 2 

Be Realistic 

Even Martha Stewart can’t do it all. Trust me, she has a lot of people making her holiday tips seem effortless. If you can, have others help you (and if that will just stress you out more, than don’t do it). If help isn’t on the table, then pick a few items off your prioritized list that you know you can accomplish and take a deep cleansing breath and let the others go. I know it would be great if we could do it all, but we’ve already established that’s not possible while retaining our sanity and cheerful disposition.  

Here’s a particularly helpful trick I’ve learned. Repeat after me. No. Come on. Say it out loud. NO. When someone asks you to do something that you know is beyond what you can reasonably do, just say no. And then perhaps, direct them to this blog post. This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Saying yes to something that is just going to stress you out, make you angry, or bitter is not worth it.  

Tip 3 

Start Planning Early 

While it’s a nice idea to wait until after Thanksgiving (US) or Remembrance Day (Canada) to start our holiday planning, that is really not a lot of time if the Hallmark extravaganza Christmas is your goal. It doesn’t mean you have to decorate your house the week before Halloween (like I do), but you could have a list of what you want your house to look like this year for Christmas (if that’s important to you). If you are a visual person, maybe set up a Pinterest board for inspiration. Ideally, you’ll shop the sales after the previous Christmas for any new holiday décor you’d like to incorporate. Unless money is no issue, in which case email so I can become your personal Christmas consultant.

You can buy your holiday cards the year before, or make them over the summer months when things are less hectic and maybe even address the envelopes so you’re way ahead of the game. Or dispense with cards altogether and send out holiday wishes by email. If you’re going to do a family holiday pic, then get that done in September or October. It’s a lot nicer standing outside when it’s 75 F than 7 F. 

Start knitting that special item you want to give to someone well ahead of time. Bake cookies ahead and freeze them. Think outside the box and do what you can in advance, so those precious weeks before the holidays can be devoted to the things you’ve prioritized. 

FYI it’s probably already too late to “start early” if you’re reading this and haven’t already started. But there’s always next year. Everyone’s prioritized list is different, but get creative in ways you can get things done early. 

Tip 4

Set a Budget and Stick To It 

Yes. Actually stick to the budget you set for yourself. I could make millions with that nifty bit of financial advice, right? If you want a stress-free holiday, you don’t want to be paying for it next July. I think we put way too much pressure on ourselves for how much we should spend on gifts, let alone decorations, food, charitable giving, etc.  

Again, look at your priorities. If you want to give some expensive gifts, then cut back elsewhere. If you want to give to a charity, but can’t afford it, see if you can volunteer your time instead. I’ll be honest. I don’t remember what I got for most of my Christmases growing up. What I do remember is the time spent with my family. But this is your holiday, so check those priorities and allot the budget in accordance.  

There are all kinds of tips and tricks not to spend money or to save money. Leave the credit cards at home. Freeze the credit cards in water so you have to wait for them to thaw to make a purchase. Disconnect your credit card from online shopping sites so you have to enter it manually each time. Put all your coins in a jar during the year. Set aside money each month in a separate account just for Christmas. But once your budget is set, stick to it. Remember that helpful trick from Tip 2? Say NO. 

Tip 5 

Be Flexible 

Having done all the above, remember to be flexible. If you realize it’s actually more important to have time with the family then to make homemade cards, then go buy some holiday cards, or skip them altogether. If you were going to make gingerbread houses and you realize you don’t have time to bake, then buy a kit from Walmart, or try using Pop-Tarts. Yup, I did that last year. That baby blanket you were going to knit for your third grandchild, and it’s December 20 and you haven’t even bought the wool, maybe it’s time to purchase something instead. 

If you were counting on getting a picture of your cat wearing a Santa outfit and your arms look like something from a horror movie for the effort, maybe just skip it. The same goes for getting all the kids to look at the camera while smiling. When my kids were little I wanted them to dress up like shepherds and angels and act out the nativity while I read it from the Bible. Let’s just say that I was the only one in the room that had that particular desire, and that included other adults. Sometimes you just gotta let go. 

Remember, deep calming breaths. Ask yourself, will this matter in 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years. Another phrase to put on repeat: It doesn’t have to be perfect to be okay.  

Tip 6 

Schedule Down Time 

We all need to have time to relax and unwind. Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating right? When was the last time you exercised or took a walk? How you relax is a personal thing. One person might need a soak in a tub, while another person goes for a five-mile run. Whatever you need, schedule some time for it. Your family and friends want the happy, sane person you are January through October showing up for the holidays. 

Once again, let’s repeat that ever-helpful word I taught you earlier. NO. Giving up all your time to eat, sleep, exercise, and relax, so you can do more for others is not going to contribute to a less stressful holiday. Just because someone asks you to do something does not in any way require you to agree to do it. And don’t feel you have to make excuses if you say no. A simple, “I’m so sorry, I have previous commitments,” or “I’d love to help, but I’m not available.” And please, no guilt. Go get the box from the bottom of the closet. 

Something I noticed in my banking days that really opened my eyes to the difference between men and women regarding schedules. When one of the guys in the office left early, they just said, “See you later.” When a woman left early, she’d give a laundry list of all the reasons why she needed to go and how she’d come in early or work late to make up the time.  

Well, that’s it, my 6 tips for having a less stressful holiday. Let’s be realistic, you’re probably still going to stress about things. But I truly hope you’ll stress a bit less if you manage to incorporate just one thing from the above, even if that one thing is to buy a better quality cooking sherry. 

LIFE IS STRANGER THAN FICTION

When our winter getaway to Huatulco, Mexico was booked for us, my husband and I expected hot days lounging in the sun. We had no idea our trip would include encounters with three tarantulas, one scorpion, a temperamental water pump, earthquakes, a sketchy property manager, killer bees, and a dead body.

For months prior to our departure we had been enchanted with pictures of the stately Casa Lukanna where we would be staying for the first couple weeks of our time in Huatulco. We dreamed of beautiful palm trees, lounging outdoors on the veranda, and drinking yummy, frosty beverages around the large backyard pool.

To be fair, we had also been told about the rather large boa constrictor that had almost slithered up to one of the previous guests on the veranda and that a tarantula had been spotted in the backyard, but being forewarned we planned to keep our eyes open and our shoes on. Plus I had immediately ordered a bug tent from Amazon (after hearing about the tarantula) and packed it in my suitcase. It was the first thing I unpacked and set up on the bed upon my arrival. I didn’t plan to close even one eye without being safely ensconced in its protective barrier.

Things at Casa Lukanna were not quite as perfect as we had expected them to be. The first thing we discovered on our arrival was that the lights didn’t work in the kitchen and dining room. No problem. We’d just make sure we ate before 6 p.m. when the rooms became darker than Hades. We lost a few pounds while staying at Casa Lukanna as we didn’t snack after dark. Once we discovered that the house hosted creatures both great and small we became far more reluctant to enter the kitchen after dark. Did I mention the parade of ants throughout the house? Apparently, the property manager had been called and we had been assured the problem would be fixed. Soon.

A few days after our arrival we got to visit with the previous residents of Casa Lukanna, my son-in-law’s parents. During our get-together they mentioned all their problems with bugs at the house and gave us more detail on the boa constrictor incident. They also mentioned the occasional annoyance of the water being unavailable due to a faulty pump. Something we had not yet experienced. They assured us that a firm thump on the water pump located in the utility room under the veranda would have the H2O flowing in an instant. Their solution to the bugs had been to move to a different location. Not really helpful advice for us at that moment, but we weren’t looking to move anyway. Aside from a few ants we hadn’t yet experienced any of the horrors to come. They also assured us that we would probably never see the property manager or have any of the issues fixed. Hmmm.

Almost immediately after visiting with the in-laws the water pump began to do its thing of shutting off at random times. I’m sure they jinxed us (hahaha, just kidding Dawn). Of course the first time was well after dark. As I made my way to the utility room with my phone’s flashlight lighting the way, I prayed I wouldn’t encounter any creepy crawlies or slithery snakes. I found a heavy handled knife in the utility sink and used that to give the water pump a good whack. Initially, the water pump went out just once or twice a day. Then it became five or six times a day, and eventually late one night we couldn’t get the recalcitrant pump to start at all. Thankfully, it had a change of heart in the morning and chugged back to life after a solid thumping with the knife. We were still waiting for the elusive property manager to come and look into the lights. We added the water pump to the list.

Also around the same time our internet decided to make like the lights and go out. No amount of rebooting, cajoling, cursing, or crying could get it to come back. The property manager was contacted and promised to look into it.

At just under a week at Casa Lukanna we came home at dusk and discovered a scorpion hanging out in our entryway. I won’t mention how we handled that. Suffice it to say my cozy mystery research and a spare shoe were put to use. After that I gave each room a visual check before sitting down. Shoes and clothes were also given a shake before being put on.

It was soon after this when the guys staying in the backyard casita (bachelor unit) invited us outside one evening (a place we had been avoiding after dark) to see the huge tarantula they had discovered lounging poolside. The four of us thought it would be a good idea to relocate the tarantula to the property line in hopes it would see the benefits of moving to the golf course the property backed onto. FYI. Tarantulas can swim. We discovered that as we tried to carefully capture the not so little guy. Instead of letting us pop a big bucket over him, he hopped into the pool and promptly swam to the other side. My husband did eventually get our furry friend over to the fence where it watched us with its beady little eyes. I’m sure as soon as we went inside he returned to his sojourn by the pool.

The very next day my husband, granddaughter, and I were on a small private beach, miles from Casa Lukanna, for our second encounter with a tarantula. I was innocently sitting on a rock and enjoying the waves washing up on shore when my granddaughter pointed to something that had just crawled under my legs and was making its way along the sand. It was a tarantula. And that’s when I almost had my first heart attack. I fell off the rock in a most undignified way as I tried to scramble away from the furry eight-legged menace. Did I mention my extreme fear of spiders yet?

The day after our second engagement with a tarantula we were back at Casa Lukanna, which we had affectionately started calling the Jungle House, and our grandchildren were visiting. We were in the front hall with my son-in-law’s assistant, Anthony, when the kids kept running in all excited, insisting we needed to come and look at what they’d found in front of the house. I explained to the children that I would come out to see their find when Anthony and I were done speaking. After the third excited interruption by the children, Anthony went to see what had the kids so animated. He came back almost immediately with the children and told us to close the door and stay inside. He soon returned and explained that a palm frond had fallen from a tree outside the front door with a killer bee’s nest attached. He had moved it across the street to an empty lot and “took care of it.” Now, I’m no bee expert, so all I can say is the nest definitely had bees in it. Were they killer bees? Anthony has lived in Mexico all his life, so I wasn’t going to argue the point.

Tarantula number three appeared several days before our departure from the Jungle House. As I flipped the light switch to on in my bathroom preparatory to performing my evening pre-bed ablutions, there on the wall was another tarantula. That’s when I had the near miss with heart attack number two. Once my heart started beating again, I called out to my husband to join me in the bathroom. After we both took a few pictures of our visitor, my husband did his husbandly duty and removed the creature from the bathroom.

In the meantime, we were still without lights in our kitchen, had spotty water availability, and no internet. At one point the water issue had become particularly bad and we had been assured the property manager would be at the house the next day at a specified time. Needless to say, he never arrived. Though he did arrive unexpectedly the day after that. And I immediately knew he would be the inspiration for a victim in a future cozy mystery. He was the epitome of what I think of when I hear the word smarmy.

By the time the property manager had finally showed up our water had already been restored, so he said he’d look into the internet issue. Sadly, he managed to escape before we could corner him to discuss the lack of lights in the kitchen and dining rooms. On the bright side, my husband and I were both down four pounds.

Shortly before our son-in-law’s parents’ departure (a story in itself), we’d had the opportunity to have dinner with them. One of the things they’d asked was, “Have you seen the blood stain on the mattress yet?” Huh? They told us to check out the mattress on the bed when we stripped the sheets. Upon stripping said sheets I discovered I had been sleeping on a mattress where a scene reminiscent of the Godfather movies had occurred. The bloodstain, and there is nothing else it could have been, could only have resulted from a serious wound. Like a stabbing, or being devoured by a family of tarantulas. No paper cut caused that quantity of blood.

Despite all the quirks of the Jungle House, we’d really come to enjoy our time there and were reluctant to leave. Plus, I was enjoying the new slender figure I was sporting thanks to the no snacking routine we’d adopted. So when the in-laws left the condo at the Santa Cruz marina, we decided to stay a few extra days at the Jungle House. But the time finally came for us to say good-bye to all our new six and eight-legged friends. We packed our three massive suitcases and array of smaller bags preparatory to our move across town. We only had to watch the YouTube video twenty-two times to figure out how to get the bug tent back into its little round bag.

Our new accommodations at the marina condo were luxurious with not a tarantula in sight. It was a little noisier, and we traded the pool for beach front, but we weren’t complaining. We couldn’t believe it. All the lights worked, a non-stop supply of water, and the holy grail of existence…we had internet…well, sometimes.

We also got to experience our first earthquake. It happened in the middle of the night and while brief, it was a severe shake that woke me up instantly. I have to admit it took me quite a while to fall back to sleep that night, especially as I felt all the little after shocks.

Our second earthquake was at least a week later and happened during the day while we were visiting at my daughter’s condo. The quake was a little longer, but not as strong as the first one. By then we’d also gotten used to the idea of the earth moving beneath us and were much more relaxed about the experience. I realize many people throughout the world deal with earthquakes all the time, but this girl has lived in Ontario and Alberta, Canada most of her life and earthquakes there are extremely rare.

So I’m almost to the end of my experiences and I did mention a dead body at the outset of this stroll down memory lane. We travelled to Puerto Vallarta and spent three weeks there towards the end of our trip. The resort we stayed at played host to about as many iguanas as people. The iguanas particularly liked to frequent the adult pool area in front of our building where we liked to spend part of our day. One afternoon after I woke up from a little nap on one of the poolside loungers, my husband mentioned there was an iguana behind by chair “sleeping” with its legs in the air. Now I’m no animal or reptile expert, but I know iguanas don’t sleep in that position. At that point I would have bet my next tropical fruit drink that the iguana’s nap was a permanent one. After taking a peek and confirming Iggy was indeed on the ground, feet up, I assured my husband that this iguana wouldn’t be waking up again. Ever.

It turns out my camera happy hubby had managed to capture the iguana’s final moments on video. We now include Iggy’s death throes in our popular vacation video series, Eight Weeks In Paradise. We’ve managed to trick, I mean invite, one set of relatives into watching our home movies and expect to do another showing next weekend.

I’m looking forward to the inspiration from these experience to influence my writing for many years to come. It has certainly confirmed what I’ve always thought, life is often stranger than fiction.

P.S. If you’re looking for a great place to stay in Huatulco I can hook you up! (…and she laughed and laughed.)

Blog Post Title Three

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Blog Post Title Four

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.